Submitted by the-wordnerd

While getting reading to leave the house, I was hoping to wear a pair of jeans. I’ve grown out of all of my jeans unless I wear my shapewear underneath. For the life of me, I could NOT find that damned shapewear. Not in the laundry basket, not on my shelves, not with the clothes I wore it with last, not in the fucking pile of shit I throw on my floor when I’m too lazy to do anything else - NOWHERE. 

Enter the breakdown.

I yelled a little, swore a lot. I tried to force myself into my jeans but couldn’t stand the pain. I angrily and far too rudely asked my girlfriend what she had done with it, and when the answer was not satisfactory, I repeated the same thing to my mother. Still no shapewear. So, next step? I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I fucking bawled.

Was I crying because I had lost a pair of old, stained, torn, stretched out shapewear? No. But, that was the very last straw. I had let myself go. For so long I’d maintained a consistent weight and body shape and size, and now that is changing. I’m slowly outgrowing my size 18/20 body and I’m not dealing with it well. When I first noticed, I purchased yoga wear and leggings and had been living quite comfortably in those until now.

This whole thing put me back in a state of self hate. Not because I completely dislike my fat body, but because I’d let myself do something to myself that I did not want - Something that I’m really not happy about.

I went out and bought another shapewear. After I put it on I realised something: This piece of material might smooth and tuck the bits that I’m uncomfortable with, it might minimize the roll over the top of my jeans, but that’s all it is - just a piece of material.

I will continue to wear it. Why? Because it helps me to hold my head up just a little bit higher. But I’m aware that my body remains what it is. I’m fat. And I’m cute. And if it takes a meltdown and a $40 pair of undies that I have to sweat to get into for me to realize that, then OK

submitted by thesilentlibrary

the change has only occurred inside my heart and my soul and no one else knows it yet, but I feel better. Just the thought, the possibility that I could one day love myself fills me with a mix of hope, joy, disbelief, and much more it’s a feeling that I have never experienced before so I can’t explain it. I posted an anonymous question here a couple of days ago about the intense emotional reaction I had to this “radical” idea of body acceptance. It was incomprehensible! But now I know it’s upon my reach, I know I can unlearn this hate that burdens me, and just live and love myself. THANK YOU thank you a million times thank you! I will never be the same.

It may have taken me a lifetime to get it but I have finally come to the realization that you don’t need a perfect body or a definite gender to feel beautiful. Thank you.

Submitted by dontblamemeivotedsaxon! Thank you!