Answers to Anons | Trigger Warning: diet talk, eating disorders, self hate, etc.
Anonymous asked: I want to say from the warmest pits of my heart that I thank you so much for making this blog. I’m a 13 year old girl, and constantly I’ve been bullied about my weight, put down, and told that I was ugly - solely for the purpose that I was not a size two. I have really bad body dysmorphia. I don’t eat for days, sometimes longer. I’m slowly realizing that I can be beautiful too, because of blogs like this one. Thank you.
Answer: Wow, I’m glad that this blog has been a part of your journey to self-acceptance and recovery. Sometimes it can be hard, but I think you’re definitely on the right track.
Anonymous asked: the fact that your blog hasn’t been active in weeks makes me want to cry :c
Answer: I’m sorrrryyy! Please forgive me. My internship is very exhausting but I have more time, so I’ll be on everyday.
Anonymous asked: How do you define “fat”? I’m having a hard time with my body right now, because I don’t feel large enough to be a powerful fat femme, and being 5’1” makes it hard to take pride in “taking up space.” Because of my height, it’s pretty easy to find dresses my size (even if they’re usually oddly long). At the same time, though, I don’t feel skinny, and I’m painfully aware of being proportionally thicker than girls around me, and I start to self-hate. What do I do?
Answer: Honestly, there’s no right or wrong way to define yourself. Whatever you label yourself, own it. You can be a powerful fat femme. Because being a powerful, fat femme is something that is so inclusive. It’s inclusive to many forms of expression and looks.
Anonymous asked you: I just wanted to share a bad experience I had. I was with family at the hospital where my grandmother was dying. We ordered takeout. I was serving myself, and right as I started taking some food, my uncle asked me to pass the container, saying “save some for the rest of us.” I passed it to his side of the table, and nobody took it. He just wanted to get it away from me. The same thing happened with the pasta.
Answer: I know that shit had to hurt, yo. I wish I could take that experience away from you. Just know that you’re not responsible for the ignorance of others. No offense, but your uncle is a complete fucking asshole. No, you know what? Full offense to your uncle. You are a being with worth and value and he should treat you as such.
Anonymous asked you: You shouldn’t blame EVERY single thing about being fat on society. you are part of society so you contribute to it to. So it’s not just society. Society has NOTHING to do with being fat, skinny or ugly. It’s just how people portray you. It’s always going to happen and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Even has much as I would like to stop the labeling, it will never stop. You shouldn’t be telling these people its going to end because you have to accept it, and wake up to reality.
Answer: Lol did you read this as you typed it? You are probably one of the most illogical anons I’ve ever received. Your “argument” is so incomprehensible, I find it hard to even form an answer lol. Society IS the problem because members of society demonize and shame bodies. It’s actually that simple. Shut the fuck up, yo.
Anonymous asked you: so ive been teased and made fun of for a long time about my size… im 18 5 ft 10 and 220 lbs.. i used to love the way i looked and didnt care.. but things got to my head and now i just hide behind track pants and sweaters.. My boyfriend says he loves me the way i am but i want to believe him i really doo but i just dont know how to feel better about my size…
Answer: Try to remember all those things that made you love your body before. Erase all the negative shit from your mind and your life. Bodies are fluid and come in many shapes and sizes. Yours is unique and beautiful. If you don’t let the negative shit go, you’ll never be happy. And you’re doing yourself a disservice. Your boyfriend as well. Remember what RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, then how the hell can you love somebody else?”
Anonymous asked you: A lot of the time I tend to lapse into feeling sad and gross because I’m big and lots of people see my body as a joke or they concern-troll me. What helps me sometimes is when I look at pictures of big tough guys who didn’t lose their bellies, so I stop freaking out and feeling bad that I don’t look like Mr Universe.
Answer: You should never be made to feel bad for being you. I’m glad that you’ve found some sort of inspiration to remind you to love yourself.
Anonymous asked you: I’ve always been self conscious about my body type. Being a fat asian does not have much perks. I’m still slowly accepting my body type. This blog helps a lot.
Answer: I’m glad this blog is of help. I wish you well on your way to self acceptance :)
Anonymous asked you: can we send in pictures even if we’re not considered to be bigger women?
This blog is for people of all sizes, so of course you can.
Anonymous asked you: Hi! When I saw the word ‘fatspiration’ and didn’t know the intended meaning, I assumed that the site was for telling women that skinny is ugly and fat is beauty, and values of the like. The intended definition was lovely and I read through a lot of the blog. Sorry for the pointless rambling, but I’d just like to thank you.
Answer: No need to apologize! I’m glad you understand the intent behind this blog.
Anonymous asked you: I understand that everyone should love their body and feel good about it, and everyone has hardships but people who are “overweight” are targeted the most by the media as well as society as a whole when it comes to body negativity (not counting racial body negativity, because that’s a whole other battle). So we, en masse, need the most encouragement.
Answer: I completely agree. That’s why I created this blog. I made this blog inclusive to all sizes, races, genders, non-genders because we all have problems with our bodies.
Anonymous asked you: I have a question, I want submit a group of photos of an outfit and I was wondering if I could do that. Ive seen you post only single pictures and reblog multipictured ones. Can I do that..?
Answer: Of course you can :)
Answers to Anons | Trigger Warning: diet talk, eating disorders, self hate, etc.
Anonymous asked you: i felt like this is the only safe place for this rant so here it goes. i have been big since second grade. been teased about it since then. it took me getting rejected by the only guy i loved in high school to drive me to the size i am now. but then i got to college. and i found there is a whole group of guys who find curves beautiful. so i just wanted to leave with this message for the younger big girls out there. never give up. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
Answer: Sometimes the solution to a bad love life is a change of venue. It’s okay to seek out people who are attracted to the way you look. But remember, never rely on the approval of others to feel beautiful or worthy. Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous asked you: This week, I stumbled upon a pro-ana blog and upon reading through it, I suddenly felt so bad about myself. It’s been days since I’ve been crying. Ever since I was 14 I’ve been struggling with my weight as my motto was always “FAT = UGLY”. I have low self-esteem & I cut my wrists. Scars are still visible. I am 23 now and being diagnosed with hormonal problem I had to lose weight. I used to be size 16 now 10. Your blog helped me recover but when I saw that blog, I feel ugly all over again.
Answer: Maaannnnn fuck that pro-ana/thinspo bullshit! Don’t let the ideas of those people undo all of your hard work. Recovery takes bravery, dedication and courage. It’s not easy. Don’t let them strip you of those good traits inside of you. Whether you’re size 16 or 10, love yourself, take care of yourself and don’t let anyone ever convince you that you’re somehow inadequate. Forget that you even saw that blog. Surround yourself with positivity and remind yourself of the reasons why you recovered in the first place.
Anonymous asked you:
I love how you guys celebrate so many sizes and types. It’s frustrating to see people argue about whether size 12 is fat or not, when really we should all just be concerned about loving ourselves.
I love how you guys celebrate so many sizes and types. It’s frustrating to see people argue about whether size 12 is fat or not, when really we should all just be concerned about loving ourselves.
Answer: It seems like a waste of time to argue about something so trivial. I have no words for how awful that ‘conversation’ must be. You have the right idea, anon! Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous asked you: How do I speak to my mother, a bulimia survivor, about body positivity? and remind her that her weight says nothing about her worth in the world?
Answer: I think you have the right words, it’s just a matter of how you approach the subject. Be aware of her mood or state of mind. You don’t want to trigger any negative emotions or bad memories for her. Also, sometimes it’s hard for parents to take advice from their kids, so try not to come off as condescending or rude. Although, I’m not really getting that vibe from you. If you need tips on what to talk about, use the advice given on this blog. Print them out and use them as note cards. http://dailyfatspiration.tumblr.com/tagged/post Good luck :)
Anonymous asked you: I have the word fat self harmed on my stomach from about five months ago does that mean I’m ugly? And how do I stop feeling guilty about it?
Answer: Even though you’ve harmed yourself and despite the scars and pain, you are NOT ugly. I’m not an expert on issues concerning guilt from self harm but I think that you should seek help from either medical professionals or a support system. And let the past go. You shouldn’t feel shame or guilt for something that you did in the past because those actions simply cannot be changed or undone. All you can do is move on and make progress towards stopping your self harm. Realize that fat is not bad. The way society perceives fat is the problem.
Answers to anons [t.w: depression, diet talk, body shaming, health]
Anonymous asked you: Advice to everyone struggling with self-acceptance: The next time you feel like you aren’t beautiful, go into the bathroom and take a long, hard look in the mirror. Just stare into your own eyes and say, “I am beautiful. I’m an image of God.” Remember that you don’t need anybody’s approval besides your own. If people can’t see how beautiful you are, they can fuck off because that’s their problem, not yours. Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder, and you are beautiful.
Answer: Regardless if you’re religious or not, saying positive, affirming things to yourself in the mirror is helpful. Thanks, anon.
Anonymous asked you: Whenever I read something about being Fat and fit I feel ashamed of myself. I know it’s possible to be both fat and fit, but I’m not. I think that at some point I started feeling so ashamed of my body that I stopped even trying to take care of it. I never feel more shamed than when I try to exercise or eat right. When I exercise, people stare. When I eat “healthy”, people say things like “good for you”. I don’t want to lose weight. I just want to be healthy and feel good in the body that I have.
Answer: Isolate the problem. Get to the root cause of why you feel ashamed of your body. Once you isolate the problem, solve it. Is it the negative stigma attached to fatness? Because those stigmas are wrong. No matter what the root cause of your negative perception is, it can be solved by talking, learning and deconstructing. I know people can be mean and say hurtful things, but don’t stop that from letting you take care of your body. Stop letting them police your body.Take control of your life and your body.
Anonymous asked you: what’s the easiest and fastest way to lose fat from your hips and tummy?
Answer: I’m sorry. I don’t know. And I don’t really give dieting advice on this blog. I’m sure Google would be of help.
Answers to anons [t.w: depression, diet talk, body shaming, health]
Anonymous asked: Hey there! I’m really enjoying the blog. I’d like to become more accepting of myself and my body, but it is so hard. I thought I’d start with trying to look nice and dress to draw attention to myself rather than try to hide away. What sort of clothes look flattering on a 5’5 woman of about 250 lbs? I really like the colorful flowy organic look of the hippie era and I have very long hair.
Answer: Just shop. Don’t worry about rules that dictate what you can or cannot wear at your size. If you see something that you like and it feels good on your body, buy it and wear it. Wear that garment with confidence because it’s your right to. Don’t avoid any patterns, shapes, colors, or styles because some “expert” told you it wasn’t for you. I avoided horizontal stripes for years because someone told me it wasn’t for me. And when I finally let go of bullshit and began to love my body, I realized I look like a BOSS in horizontal stripes. Just experiment and see what you like. Don’t restrict yourself.
Anonymous asked: i want to love myself and be loved even if i am a “whale” :(
Answer: Stop bullying yourself for starters. You are not a whale.
Anonymous asked: Will losing weight make my breast size go down? I really hate that I’m a D-cup and lately I’ve been wondering if it’s my size. If I go down 100 pounds maybe I’ll be a B at least. But I don’t want to lose weight if it won’t help.
Answer: I honestly cannot answer that. It’s different for a lot of people. My mother has DD breasts. When she lost weight, her breasts stayed the same size. For my cousin, she went down a whole cup size. It depends on how your body reacts to the type of diet regimen you’re on. If it’s really important to you, consult a reputable physician or dietitian.
Anonymous asked: i’m a big girl, 16 years old, i’m a UK16-18, i go out drinking some weekends, and the first person the boys buy a drink for is me, which is strange considering there are tons of tiny blondes in the same building haha. hopefully this reasures some of you x x
Answer: Ah, those guys seem nice. You can drink in bars at age 16 in the UK?
Anonymous asked: I can’t stop crying I wish I could start seeing my body the way you do, I can’t comprehend loving my body as it is, it hurts to see that all of you accept yourselves. My only hope for happiness is that one day I’ll be skinny. this is strange this blog full of love I’m used to hate.Just looking through this blog triggered an emotional breakdown. I don’t understand. how can I begin to love my fat? I’m so happy for everyone who has achieved self love, I can only hope and strive to be so fortunate.
Answer: It always seems impossible at first especially when you’ve been taught from the very beginning that you’re only valued for your body. Let go of it. Take all of that hurt and pain and throw it away. The source of that pain is the bullshit society that we live in. Those people who taught you to hate yourself and tell you aren’t beautiful are WRONG. They. Are. Wrong. It may seem that the solution to your pain would be to just change yourself, but would that really make you happy? No, It wouldn’t. Would that erase the pain and hurt you’ve experienced? No. It won’t. Embrace yourself. You’re unique, one of a kind and absolutely beautiful. Tell yourself that every fucking day because it’s the truth.
Anonymous asked: Love this blog. I personally am far too skinny to be viewed as beautiful by society and have been made to feel ugly all through my life, but nonetheless this blog inspires me. Body acceptance is such an important thing. I’m behind you all the way!
Answer: I’m glad you’re not letting negative perceptions get you down! Thanks for the kind words and support.
Answers to anons [t.w: eating disorders, diet talk, body shaming, health]
Anonymous asked you: I’m sorry considering you get messages like this alot but.. I don’t know where to turn anymore. My friends think I’m developing anorexia; it’s becoming harder for me to eat, and I’ve lost more than ten pounds within a week or two. My parents don’t know and as long as I’m under this severe stress and depression, I’m not going to get better. I don’t even know if I really do have an E.D or if I’m just immature. You’re my favorite blog.. Would you be able to give advice? Thank you. Love you guys!
- Answer: First, I’m sorry it took so long to answer this question. I think that if you think you might be developing an eating disorder, seek help immediately. If you’re unsure if you have an E.D. or not, still seek help. Help comes in the form of seeking the aid of medical professionals or reaching out to persons recovering from E.D.s. The point is, address the issue before it fully develops. I think it it helps to think about why you have a bad relationship with food. Once you figure out the root of your problems, structure your recovery around addressing those issues. I hope that helps.
Anonymous asked you: Let me start by saying that I really appreciate your work here. The strength you are giving to individuals is more important than I think you’ll ever know. I just want to share a story. I am a fat male and the first girl I ever confessed my feelings to crushed me. I told her I liked her and she told me she was disgusted that someone as fat and ugly as me could ever like her. I’m far from accepting myself but this blog is surely helping.
- Answer: I’m glad to be of help. I think in order to avoid the sting of rejection in the future, you have to teach your self to respect people’s decision not to date you. The way the person treated you was no doubt fucked up, but try not to let it get you down. There are people out there who are not shallow. They’re the people of quality. They’re the type of people you want to surround yourself with.
Anonymous asked you: I’m anon cos the real world has discovered my blog, and now it’s just another censored version of myself, like facebook and the rest of my life. I could write forever about the horrible things I say to myself; and I suppose all I’m looking to do is just tell someone. I am, of course, enormously fat. I weigh 118kg - goddamnit I can remember being 78 like it was yesterday. Don’t know how it happened really. I lost my wife and it just stacked on. My new partner is great, but I still hate myself. I think I want to put some of the misery on the screen, rather that inside me. I think it was the girl who didn’t feel alone because of god. I used to have that feeling, but I’ve lost it. I used to trust that there was an omnipotent power watching over me and my fellow man; but nothing could persuade me to believe anymore. I’m happy for - even jealous of - people who do believe. I wish I had that comfort. But I am alone in the dark with my self-hatred; there’s no god in here with me.
- Answer: Don’t let your weight/body construct how you experience the world. Your life is not over. Nothing in life is 100% irreversible. If you’re at a place where you do not like yourself, FIX IT. I know that’s a rather simple answer to a complicated situation but it really IS that simple.
Anonymous asked you: Thank you so much for this blog. I’ve been struggling with my self-worth all my life because my mother’s always led me to believe that because I’m fat I’m less of a human being. This blog is really helping me come to terms with my fabulousness, regardless of my size, so thank you for that. (and for the record, I have not seen a single person on here that’s anything less than perfect)
- Answer: Wow, thank you! Messages like this is why I run this blog!
Answers to anons [t.w: eating disorders, diet talk, body shaming, health]
Anonymous asked you: I have just recently discovered this whole new perspective of accepting myself instead of trying to change. But I think the hardest part for me is that deep inside, I still wish to be accepted by all the “pretty and popular people”. I never realized how powerful society’s standards were… There is still a long way to go.. challenging all those beliefs that I learned in the past 20 years. Fuck you, mainstream media, you brainwashed me :(
- Answer: I’m glad you’re on the right path. Don’t worry about being accepted by others because you are enough.
Anonymous asked you: You always say things about accepting bodies, but I’ve never once seen a post about thin people, or any body besides chubby people. I’m not hating AT ALL, I’m just making a point.
- Answer: I focus on ‘fat’ as a concept because people of all sizes have had it used as an insult against them. I like to think that this blog and the messages I post are inclusive to all people.
Anonymous asked you: Okay, so I’m not fat but here me out. I’m actually very thin. I’m around 90 lbs and 5’7. The thing is that I’m healthy and I eat normal amounts, I’m just naturally thin. My whole life people have assumed that I have an eating disorder. People have called ugly because all the bones that show on my body. I feel like I’m not sexy enough because I have small breasts.I may not be fat but I’m insecure too. Is there a blog for me people like because I feel like no one understands.
- Answer: I wish I did know of a blog that helps with your specific issue and I hope my followers can help me out with finding you one. See here’s the thing, society is so incredibly fucked up that body-shaming has morphed into this giant fuck-fuck monstrosity. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. Let me repeat: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Let them think what they will, because they will think those things regardless. Live your life. Thrive in your body. You know who you are. Only you know your body’s truth. And that is the only thing that matters.
Anonymous asked you: For the past two months or so I have been in recovery, recovery from bulimia to be specific. Some days I feel great towards my body, and other days I will constantly put myself down. I have always been the chubbier girl, with wide hips adn a fuller figure all around. I suppose my question would be,” How can I boost my confidence on a daily basis? How can I learn, really learn to love how I look?” Thats about the best way I can put it. any help would be greatly apprciated.
- Answer: 1.) Never compare yourself to others. No two bodies are alike. Yours is fine. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll feel better. 2.) Surround yourself with positive people. If someone puts you down because of your body, tell them to fuck off. 3.) Stop thinking of your body negatively. Speak kindly to it. It is not flawed or broken. It it complex, unique and wonderful. I hope those things help :)
Dear Body Shaming, Cowardly Anons:
BODY POSITIVITY DOES NOT DISCOURAGE “EATING RIGHT” AND EXERCISING! It simply means that we will not accept society’s fascist bullshit! That is it. Do some research before you present the same, tired, arguments to me. Or try this concept: If you don’t agree with body positivity, fucking fuck off.
Thanks,
Ashley // DailyFatspiration
Answers to anons [t.w: diet talk, eating disorders, body shaming, health]
Anonymous asked: So today, I thought of an idea: I want to get an inspiring tattoo on a place that I’m not very confident about, so that whenever I see that place, I smile instead of feeling ashamed or sad. But I’m not sure what I could get a tattoo of. Any ideas? Also, I’d like to share this idea so that maybe others can take it as well. (: Thanks for your time, everyone. <3
- Our Answer: Hmmm I don’t know. I don’t know specific circumstances of your life, thus I don’t know any personal details about you. So I don’t feel qualified to advise you on what to tattoo on your body. I think my idea would be painfully generic like ’Love>Hate’ or something equally as lame. Maybe my dear followers can help?
Anonymous asked:I just really need to vent out [[-before I go on, I’ll say that there may be triggers in this post-]] I’m a UK size 24/over 18st. Most of the time I feel great, but at the moment I feel so awful. I have an eating disorder (compusive overreating) but nobody seems to take it sriously because, of course, you can’t possibly have an eating disorder if you’re fat /sarcasm. I desperately want to lose some weight just so I can feel 100% confident in myself. I don’t show it, but society is killing me.
- Our Answer: Fuck society. You don’t owe anything to anyone. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone, nor do you have an obligation to educate them on their ignorance. Their words have no real effect on your life. Focus on creating a better relationship with food and happiness will come.
Anonymous asked:For the person who is bulimic, you need to be aggressive. Not in a mean way, but in a way that shows that you’re trying you best for your health. If someone says ‘You’re so skinny - take it!’ don’t give in, keep stressing your excuse. If they can’t understand that you simply do not want the food, then you need to be straight up and tell them you’re watching your health. If absolutely necessary, take the food and give it to friends you know that would enjoy it. That’s what I usually have done!
- Our Answer: This seems like a sufficient answer to a question I felt I had no business attempting to answer. Thank you.
Answers to anons [t.w: diet talk, body shaming, health]
Anonymous asked: Is it wrong that I want to lose weight to be a little more active and healthy is that okay?
- Our Answer: It’s not wrong. It’s your body. Do what you want with it. Dieting/ exercising doesn’t mean you’re not accepting of all body types. It doesn’t mean that you’re not body/fat positive. It ONLY means that you’re dieting and exercising.
Anonymous asked: I’m honestly not trying to hate on this blog, don’t get me wrong. But most of the fat girls who submit stories about how good they feel about themselves on here have an experience with a guy they’ve dated who’ve made them feel beautiful, but some of us haven’t had that, and they make it look really easy. I guess I just don’t think it’s that unnatural that some of us would want to lose weight, you know?
- Our Answer: There’s nothing wrong with modifying your body to attract someone who is attracted to a specific body type. It’s your life. It’s your body. It’s your relationships. If you’re happy modifying your body for the sake of someone else, have at it.
Anonymous asked: i think this blog is wonderful and i personally think that someone can be beautiful at any size, however i don’t agree someone can be healthy at any size. i really don’t want to spark debate over this because i know there is a difference between someone with curves (or someone skinny) and someone who is putting their life at risk with the way they treat their body. with this said though, people should be able to do what they want and be accepting of their bodies, without people judging them.
- Our Answer: Honestly, people should stop worrying about whether someone else’s weight is a health risk or not.
Answers to anons [t.w: diet talk, body shaming, health]
Anonymous asked you: I have a question. You say that your blog is a body acceptance one. That means you promote the fact that beauty can be curvy, as well as skinny, as long as it’s healthy, right? Well then, why do so many “fatspirations” put down those of us who are not curvy, either for personal choice, or simply due to metabolism?
- Our Answer: We’ve never taken a stance on what is healthy or what isn’t. We believe that it is ridiculous to assume to know someone’s health based on their weight…so…? I think people see the name “Fatspiration” and assume we shame smaller bodies or dieting to validate larger bodies. We don’t. If you believe we shame smaller or non-curvy people, provide us with examples of this and we’ll address it. Don’t worry, we’ll wait…
Anonymous asked you: Where do you stand on the “being fat is bad cus it’s unhealthy” thing? Do you think people who say this have a point, or is it just something people cling to so they can continue fat shaming?
- Our Answer: The last part of your question is right. You’ve hit the nail on it’s head. People resort to being “concerned” to justify their body shaming. Weight is not the only contributor to health. There’s environment, family medical history, and other factors. People resort to blaming fat to justify the torture and shaming of others. And it’s pathetic.
Anonymous asked you: For the Anon who’s worried about her boyfriend: there are so many guys out there who love fat girls. It’s not something we talk about in our society, it’s not something most people are willing to admit. But if he’s fallen in love with you, it’s because you’re special, lovely, and desirable. You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll love your body when someone else loves it too. I’ve always loved my fat body, but having a boyfriend want me, sexually, is an empowering (and HOT!) experience.
- Our Answer: This is true in some situations, but overall, we believe that it is best to NOT rely on the attention of others to validate your worth or your body.
Anonymous asked: as a man, i feel bad when my first reaction to seeing a naked fat person is “ew.” how can i change this?
- Our Answer: If you’re not attracted to larger bodies, that’s fine. People of size don’t need you to validate their worth. Realize that body types are fluid and just because they don’t meet your standard of beauty, doesn’t mean that they are not beautiful.
